


Mutuals

by voltronhomos



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: I finally wrote a tumblr themed fanfiction, M/M, but hey it turns fluffy in the end, cecilos - Freeform, slight warning for themes of depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-06 22:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4238379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltronhomos/pseuds/voltronhomos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil’s hands traced over the small bump on the bottom of the J key, hands ready to type out what ever came to his mind. Lately it felt like he had lost all creativity to write, to tell original stories, to even just stay here. Suddenly he heard a small ping between the blasts of music he had found in the alternative section between adverts on Pandora. Quickly flicking to his open Tumblr window he stared at the small profile photo that was now displayed at the top of his dash with the familiar plus sign in its corner,</p><p>-Carlos-the-sc1entist began following you -</p><p>{When Cecil starts a podcast using his creativity from books and the light that comes on at 12 am he finally begins to feel like he has a use, but its one follower that really makes him feel like he's not alone}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Weep woop disclaimer time!
> 
> I do not own the characters mentioned in this fanfiction, they all belong to Jeffery Cranor and Joseph fink, the creators of Nightvale :D
> 
> This fanfiction does contain subtle themes of depression, so if you are triggered by such themes then for your own safety please do not read ;u;
> 
> Happy reading!

 

Cecil wasn’t sure of a time when he wasn’t writing, creating, or when he started his first podcast. From a young age he had always been persecuted for his voice, but as he got older it all changed. Never had Cecil spent a day at school, his mother had home-schooled him and his siblings for as long as he could remember. She wasn’t very good at it though, ever since his voice evolved she always talked about mirrors, doubles, chanting the same things again and again. It scared Cecil as a child, but he knew deep inside that she loved him. In-fact when he was younger she would teach him things, about writing and radio shows, about how she only wanted the best for him and that was why she never let him leave the household; but that was a long time ago, she was gone now. Cecil was still unsure where she had left to, but he never disobeyed what she said even then. He kept in touch with his sister, it used to be through letters with golden stamps and beautifully proposed letters, but then he was introduced to the internet. Cecil signed up when his sister had first told him about it, telling him to use the computer that his mother stored in the back room. Going in there haunted him, but he went on anyway, pushing the thoughts of his mother and brother to the side as he signed up.

Now he ran a podcast, a podcast called Nightvale. 

Cecil had spent so many days… months… years… working on his writing. It only took two episodes to go online before he had followers, the first of which was josie-the-angel-princess. Their friendship surprisingly sparked like wildfire, he couldn’t explain why but talking to people other then what was his missing family just seemed so threatening, uncanny, exciting. It was after only several days of talking that he decided to include his new friend in the story line,

“Old woman Josie says that angels visited her, and one even changed her lightbulb…”

 

He remembered their conversation after the episode had been uploaded

 

_**Josie-the-angel-princess:** Cecil! OMG you featured me in your podcast… eek! Also I am not an old woman D-:_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** I hope you didn’t mind me featuring you as that, I promise you that you really are a big addition to the podcast. I used your username as inspiration as well._

_J **osie-the-angel-princess:** Well… I guess I forgive you :-) No but your creative skills are really fantastic! How do you come up with this stuff from just being in your room?_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Oh I just look up at the blinking lights. They appear during the Night out of the window next to my computer, they’re confusing, but I try to understand them. _

_**Josie-the-angel-princess:** Just from that window? Wow! I wish I could write like that! Anyways I gtg, see you!_

 

Cecil then decided, he was going to make people happy with this, just like he did with Josie. He scrolled through his follower list and slowly looked at their names, digging deeper into the ones that he liked. Soon he had completed a list stars next to the ones he had chosen for a special path in the story,

-Josie-the-angel-princess*

-John-ykfarmer

-Dana-leader12*

-Suitcasesandjackets*

 

The list went onwards for a while as he began to brainstorm for the next episode, planning what the story would be like in the future, reading through series of books to pick up ideas and themes. Cecil typed as fast as his fingers would allow him, pouring every inch of his creativity onto the page that still had ‘Untitled’ as its save. Everyday became a repeat of this same timetable, only stopping for the times when Cecil felt like writing a silly fan fiction about one of the old videos that his mother kept in a large bookshelf. He even forgot about sleeping, in-fact Cecil lost all control of time, the only thing keeping his internal clock on track was the bright red glowing light that came on at exactly midnight, telling him to post the newest episode. He slowly began to feel enjoyment about researching for the sake of plot and creativity, did he really need anything else other then that and the occasional cat funny cat video that Josie always reblogged? After all, this took away any need to explore outside his house, or even look into mirrors like his mother said not to. Who knows what he would see in there?Cecil thought that if his mother was here and could see him, she would be so proud, so, so proud of him.

* * *

 

 

“John, you know… the farmer? Recently reported about supposed angels, who do **not** exist, stealing his imaginary corn. He asks for Josie to please pay more attention to her non-existent friends, as they are ruining his hard work,”

Cecil scrolled through his dash as fan-art and theories about his own show began to pop up. He always loved these times, it always made him so happy to see so many people that liked his show, its what inspired him to keep on speaking, keep on typing. Sometimes he would get anons talking about how his work helped them to sleep, relieve their anxiety. Cecil loved that feeling, the feeling that somebody was happy listening to him.

He spent so many days, weeks, years, like this. He was’t sure how long it had been, but he was sure that it had been long enough. There were some days when he just couldn’t write anymore though, when all his creativity had left and he couldn't bear to check his chats or his dash, scared of criticism for his repetitive story-telling, his same-old voice repeating the same-old themed stories. It was during those times when the ping of a notification meant so much

 

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** Cecil_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** ceeeeecccilll_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** cECIL_

 

He pondered on the keys, still confused how to respond;

 

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Hey._

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** One of those days hey?_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** how do you even know this stuff_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** Well its because I live in your home_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** What!?!_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face** : No its a joke!_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** That’s how I know stuff, like, I just pick up on things so I just say that_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Oh thats so cool!_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** Nah, but anyway back to your sad response, _

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** what’s up?_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Writers block_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** Its more then that don’t lie_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** You’re correct, again,_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** I’m not sure, I just feel y'know_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** Sad?_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** No, its more then that_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** I just, I don’t feel happy here anymore, _

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** Is it cat videos type sad or full bucket of ice-cream type sad_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** I just don’t wanna stay_

_**Dont-look-atmy-face:** Stay where?_

 

Cecil stood up from his desk, he wasn’t sure if he was sure of what he was typing, nor of what he was feeling. He took a deep breath calming himself, and looked out the slightly frosted window to the bright red blinking light on the mountain top. For a small millisecond, just a small one, he thought he could see his reflection against the cool glass. Just as soon as Cecil had noticed it, it disappeared, that s if it was originally even there. He stepped away from the window, going back to his desk and preparing to write once more, creativity or not. He slipped on his headphones, wishing for creativity.

Cecil’s hands traced over the small bump on the bottom of the J key, hands ready to type out what ever came to his mind. Lately it felt like he had lost all creativity to write, to tell original stories, to even just stay… here. Suddenly he heard a small ping between the blasts of music he had found in the alternative section between adverts on Pandora. Quickly flicking to his open Tumblr window he stared at the small profile photo that was now displayed at the top of his dash with the familiar plus sign in its corner,

 

** _-Carlos-the-sc1entist began following you -_ **

 


	2. Carlos-the-sc1entist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By day, Carlos is a science teacher, by night he is still a science teacher just a little bit lamer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Copyright weep woop waring: I don't own Nightvale or any of its characters, they belong to Finknor :D

Carlos didn’t spend a lot of time on the internet during the daytime, after all he had a job now, a class to teach. That didn’t mean he couldn’t browse his endless dash by night.

 His days consisted of teaching at the University of What It Is, teaching the basics of science, covering everything from biology to neuroscience. After his class had left he would go back into the labs, the place where he felt at home, and redo the tests he found interest in. Some times he’d even try a new one, writing down its method and results so he could show it to the other professors who never seemed to be entertained by his findings, probably because he always wanted to show the same ones. Carlos didn’t mind it though, he still did the tests every time his class ended. 

Carlos was in the middle of reading through next lessons chapter, slightly tapping his leg and preparing himself to speak in front of the class with the beakers he was supposed to have cleaned still unwashed, when the lab door opened. To his surprise, Carlos jumped to his feet, scared if one of his colleagues walked in on him in such a messy lab. Happily it was just one of his students, Maureen. She didn’t normally take much interest in science, or at least thats what Carlos thought.

“Maureen, I’m surprised you don’t normally-“

He was interrupted by a sigh from the student,

“I was told that if I helped you clean up after class I’d get some credit, which I really need”

Carlos didn’t need to be told that, he remembered marking her papers and feeling slightly sorry for her, but not surprised. He had heard that her real talent was in psychology, which very much frightened and excited him. 

“That’s good, less work for me.” Carlos chuckled, standing up from the old lab desk as he grabbed the small box that the beakers were originally piled in. 

“Sorry,” Maureen called as she filled an unclean beaker with water, “Do you mind if I play my podcast out loud? I wasn’t able to listen to it last night or this morning, and I’d like to catch up, plus I don't have my headphones”

“Oh, yeah sure. What’s it called?”

“Uh, Nightvale. Welcome to Nightvale.”

 

* * *

 

The second Carlos had gotten home the first thing he did was log on to Tumblr find out where he could listen to that podcast. Quickly clicking on a link that took him directly to the Nightvale youtube, he had grabbed out all the snacks that he had could from his fridge and began watching immediately.

 The sun sank into the distance as the final notes of the radio hosts voice faded into the calming yet mysterious ending music. Carlos suddenly felt a rush of emotions flood his brain as he recognised he had just spent several hours eating snacks whilst listening to the sound of a calming voice. Not sure what to do next, Carlos decided the best next move would be to look on Tumblr, after all that where Maureen first found Nightvale. As the new tab loaded, the scientist turned to look at the long mirror that hung on the wall next to him to see if his hair had gotten any better. He was sure that the slight grey that had gathered around his temples had slightly grown, this aggravated Carlos an awful lot, but it contrasted so heavily against his normal oak brown hair that he had considered dyeing it. Carlos, was unsure about that though, they were slightly annoying but at the same time he couldn’t imagine what his hair would look like without them. Eventually his internet loaded, Carlos’ dash opening up to display what was his endless chain of fun science facts. Moving his cursor up towards the search bar, he began typing in ‘Nightvale’, seeing dedicated fan-blogs and recent searches from others pop up. Eventually he had scrolled through so much fan art of what people thought the main character, Cecil himself, looked like that he had compiled his own head canon. Soon enough, he found Cecil’s official blog, which from the outside he was quite scared to click on. As he entered the blog, he saw that quarter of it was cat posts, another quarter old Lee Marvin movie fan fiction and the rest seemed to be posts and reblogs of things relating to Nightvale. Looking up at the clock, Carlos eventually gave up on sleep and continued to scroll.

 

* * *

 

“ _How_ long!?” Maureen exclaimed as she tidied up the rest of the lab, Carlos’ eyes fixed once again on the screen. 

“I lost count” He replied as Maureen gave a chuckle. Surprisingly over the past few days the two had become friends, often talking about theories and head canons about the show. Really, Carlos knew that she was just here for college credit. 

“Y’know, I feel like if you were a character in there i’d probably ship you guys.” Maureen laughed as Carlos suddenly froze up,

“Ship? Is that the thing where you pair people together? I don’t want that, I’m a scientist not some sort of character! After all, I presume that he probably doesn’t like guys, especially ones with hair like mine and I’m going too far into this.”

“Knew it.” Maureen whispered, “So you ARE into guys.” Carlos paused, the teachers were very correct in saying she was good at psychology. Carlos just swung back to his computer, it wasn’t any of his students business to know about which half-fictional characters he liked or not. Maureen chuckled, “You still haven’t followed him have you?” 

It was then Carlos realised he hadn’t, and that he probably should, shouldn’t, should? He spent some time thinking about in when all of a sudden a large smash came from the other room as one of the delicate beakers crashed against the desk. Maureen looked down at the destroyed beaker before beginning to back away suspiciously from it,

“Sorry, but I guess it is my time to exit anyway.” Maureen whispered. Carlos quickly jumped up and grabbed the small hand brush that was kept in the cabinet for these situations as Maureen walked over to the front of her room and grabbed her bag. Suddenly, the scientist heard the subtle click of a mouse before the scuttling of shoes. Turning around, Carlos saw that Maureen had disappeared. He dumped the remains of the broken beaker into the bin and sat down at his computer once more, internally screaming as the scientist looked to the top right of the screen,

 

_\- Following-_

  


	3. It's not considered stalking... is it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecil and Dana are the ultimate team when it comes to stalking... finding out information of people online, so it's no surprise that Cecil asks for her for help when a new follower of his starts to intrigue him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer! I do not own the characters mentioned in this fan fiction etc. etc. :D

Cecil’s hands moved quickly with his mouse as he clicked on the new followers icon.

 

** _~CARLOS THE SCIENTIST~_ **

** _~Welcome to the science zone~_ **

 

The blog title read in all caps, with a deep navy blue outlining. The theme installed was very clean and tidy, an off white background with occasional navy highlights for URL’s and links. Cecil began to scroll through the blog, reading each science fact with an open mind and consideration, looking for inspiration for his podcast, but mostly because he found an interest in him. It was page 4 of the blog when Cecil found the first photo of the blog’s owner. His eyes widened to take it all in, the man in the picture looked no older then 28, with teeth like a military cemetery and deep hazel eyes that reminded Cecil of oakwood jewellery boxes. The mans hair was air-blown backwards and was a slightly lighter colour then his eyes, except from around his temples where patches of milky-grey highlights grew. Cecil ended up just staring longingly at the photo, unsure of wether to reblog or like or just show any sign of appreciation for what was the being that he had instantly fallen in love with. Nerves building up, Cecil pressed the reblog button, but just before reblogging switched it to queue. He let out a big sigh and pressed the queue button, knowing that it probably would’ve been easier to have just pressed the reblog button and had it over and done with. Cecil clicked the about link at the top of the page before a small ding came from his open Skype window;

 

**_Dana-leader12:_ ** _Hey Cecil_

**_Dana-leader12:_ ** _I can’t sleep so, whats up?_

**_VoiceoftheNight:_ ** _SaME_

**_Dana-leader12:_ ** _yOU NEVER SLEEP ANYWAY_

**_VoiceoftheNight:_ ** _Truth_

**_VoiceoftheNight:_ ** _I’m stalking this guy online_

**_VoiceoftheNight:_ ** _Omg that sounded creepy_

**_VoiceoftheNight:_ ** _come help me_

**_Dana-leader12:_ ** _omg that is so creepy… whats the URL i’ll do it_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Carlos-the-sc1entist, page 4 the second last post I just can’t_

_**Dana-leader12:** wait itS LOADING_

** _VoiceoftheNight:_ ** _Im going to check the about_

_**Dana-leader12:** WAIT FOR ME_

_**Dana-leader12:** wAIT OMG _

_**Dana-leader12:** THATS HIM THATS THE ONE YOU’RE STALKING_

_**Dana-leader12:** AND HE FOLLOWED YOU_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** YEAH_

_**Dana-leader12:** THATS ONE HOT HOT TATER TOT_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** THE HOTTEST OF THE TATER TOTEST_

_**Dana-leader12:** OKAY NOW WE CAN CHECK THE ABOUT_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** okay calm you’re right_

_**Dana-leader12:** Okay so_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** hE WORKS AS A PROFESSOR AT THE UNIVERSITY SDFHGJHDFJASJFJSA NO MORE CALM_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** HOT HOT SCIENCE TATER TOT _

_**Dana-leader12:** HE’S ONLY 28 THATS GOOD_

_**Dana-leader12:** IT DOESNT SAY WHAT HE’S INTO OR ANYTHING SO IM GONNA GO GAY UNTIL PROVEN STRAIGHT_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** tHATS A REALLY BIG ASSUMPTION_

_**Dana-leader12:** exactly._

_**Dana-leader12:** oMG I’M ALREADY SHIPPING IT_

_**Dana-leader12:** Wait my foods ready BRB_

 

Cecil screamed and began to flail on his chair, not even sure what he felt like doing. He couldn’t believe that only an hour or so of stalking had left him like this. After having his mini fan-boy session, he took a deep breath in, attempting to calm himself. How could someone be that prefect? He quickly re-arranged his spinny chair into place and sat down once again, still taking deep breaths to calm himself down. This is why Cecil liked talking to Dana, she always made him happy somehow, even through stalking another person. Cecil stared blankly at the photo again, noticing every small detail that there could be noticed in one photo. It was then Cecil’s attention was drawn to the small blinking light that had just flickered on in the distance. 

“Well it’s good that i’m a highly organised being then, everything in my queue… Oh my blood stones I added the photo to the queue.”

 

* * *

 

 

_**Dana-leader12:** SERIOUSLY RELAX IT IS NOT CREEPY_

_**Dana-leader12:** Okay maybe a little_

_**Dana-leader12:** BUT NOT THAT CREEPY_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** It was 2 weeks old I swear upon my soul he will think i’m a creep_

_**Dana-leader12:** NO HE’LL APPRECIATE IT_

_**Dana-leader12:** I mean after all, he might see that you like him uvu_

 

The second that Cecil had realised his fatal mistake he had told Dana what happened, 

 

_**Dana-leader12:** Otherwise I will ovo_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Dana _

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Dana no_

_**Dana-leader12:** dana yes._

_**VoiceoftheNight:** wait up_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** OH NO THIS IS _

_**VoiceoftheNight:** CAN I DELETE MY BLOG NOW_

_**Dana-leader12:** WHAT HAPPENED_

_**Dana-leader12:** CECIL _

_**Dana-leader12:** CEECIL_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Theres a 1 sign in my inbox _

_**Dana-leader12:** and that bad why?_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** because although I do have a love for the unknown I am scared that this unknown might be him_

_**Dana-leader12:** cECIL YOU’RE OVERREACTING, HE PROBABLY HASN’T ITS PROBABLY JUST SOME RANDOM QUESTION_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** It was him_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** oh no_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** It was Carlos_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** hELP_

_**Dana-leader12:** gOOD LUCK_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** You can’t just DO that! You cant just LEAVE ME HERE_

_**Dana-leader12:** I wish you the best just please don’t say hot hot tater tot_

_**VoiceoftheNight:** Ok, neat, I'm gonna do this._

_**Dana-leader12:** Don’t say that either._

_**VoiceoftheNight:** but…_

__**Dana-leader12:** No buts i'm the mayor of this town remember_ _

___**VoiceoftheNight:**  Okay fine_ _ _

 

* * *

 

 

Cecil stared at the fan-mail he had just received. He couldn’t believe that he had gotten a response, one that he wasn’t even sure he wanted, in such a short time. The anxious host read the fan-mail over and over, repeating every word in his head until he finally read it out loud,

“Hey! I saw that you did the whole reblog thing of my selfie and I just wanted to say thanks! Really what I wanna say is that I like your voice and your show but in like a scientific way and yeah, good job.”

Cecil felt his heart beating, which he had never noticed before. His cheeks flushed a slow red as his mouth began to quiver at the corners, unsure of what to type back and if to to type back at all. In his own flustered way, Cecil quickly typed out his reply, too nervous to double check for spelling errors or to see if he seemed overly ecstatic, and pressed send.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first up thank you guys for your supportive comments and kudos, they mean a lot to me! :D
> 
> Secondly, the posting timetable! If you were wondering what time this updates, it’s every second day! (Eg. If a chapter is posted on Monday, the next one will be out on Wednesday and the one after that on Friday and on and on and on.) Also I normally post from 8-10 am AUS time, so you might need to check out when that is for you if you wanna :D  
> But who knows, maybe someday i’ll do 2 chapters in one day and you’ll never know   
> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	4. Fan-mail and extra credit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer! I do not own the characters mentioned in this fan-fiction, they all belong to the void. So do you. It’s time to sacrifice your physical body to the void so your soul can lay forever screaming in the endless spiral of nothing.

It was early morning on the fifteenth, and Carlos was running late to class. Once again he tried to stay up until midnight to watch the live-stream of the new episode with the rest of the equally-as-obsessed fans, but failed miserably when he made the mistake of trying to watch it whilst in bed. He quickly darted down the hallway, his shoes hitting the hard floorboards with a rather satisfying click as he did so. Carlos could already feel the judgement that would come from the other teachers once he told them the reason why he was so late to such an important and necessary part of his life. Sometimes he felt like like of the students instead of a teacher because of the way the other professors treated him.Perhaps he might use the traffic excuse again, or maybe even the car broke down excuse. He decided that traffic would be more likely, after all getting to places like the city and schools at this time in the morning always made the roads filled with cars, plus its not like they could prove him wro-

Carlos’ thoughts suddenly stopped as he head hit against the hard wood door, a small, worrying crack noise followed. He heard a sudden burst of Oooh’s and laughter from the other side of the door, it looks like the students had already gotten to class before him. Fixing his posture, Carlos tried to remain cool and calm as he flung open the doors that led to the giggling bunches of young adults.

“Good morning, class!” Carlos chimed as he walked over the the old plastic teacher desk that sat just before the rows of upwards seats in the auditorium. The class gave a weak ‘Hello’ back to him, perhaps they were just as tired as he was, or maybe just still laughing at his embarrassing fail. “Alrighty then,” he coughed, scanning the students once more to see if all in attendance before one particular student caught his attention. Maureen was wildly waving her arm, trying to attract the attention of her professor. She began to mouth a variety of what Carlos thought was words which he could not decipher. He watched Maureen shake around her arms rapidly and mouth what could only be gibberish to him before finally noticing he was taking too long to commence the class. “O….kay we begin…”

 

* * *

 

There was only a couple of minutes of the lesson left, and Carlos had allowed the students to work on their personal assignments for the remaining time. As time went on, his eyes flickered up from his own laptop every now and then to look at Maureen who was currently death staring him down. He averted her gaze and quickly looked back at his awfully bright computer screen which was filled with important plans for the next lesson, which happily this time fell the day before the 15th. Carlos looked up once again, Maureen still staring him down as if he had just gone and given her several unjust bad marks in a row. Slightly scared and feeling threatened, Carlos gulped as Maureen suddenly flipped her school notepad which didn’t have any notes in it to face him. Scrawled across the page in bold bright orange sharpie was the words

**_CHECK YOUR E-MAILS_ **

Carlos let out a sigh, it wasn’t unexpected that he hadn’t checked them, he rarely did. After all, he had lots of other things on his mind currently and e-mails were the least of them. Quickly opening his university assigned e-mail, a bunch of spams and notifications from other teachers he really should’ve responded to a while ago popped up. Scrolling through them, he tried to find the one Maureen wanted to read which was presumably from her. Soon enough, a large mass of e-mails from earlier this morning from Maureen showed themselves. 

‘Dear Carlos’ The first one read, ‘I am coming to inform you that you have been mentioned in the podcast we both share an interest in, Welcome to Nightvale. The exact phrase used was ‘Perfect’ . Many thanks, Maureen.”

As he continued to scroll through the e-mails, they suddenly took a rather excited, or scary, turn,

“CARLOS ‘AND I FELL IN LOVE INSTANTLY’ OMG SHIPS OKAY LISTEN UP HAVE YOU WATCHED IT YET HE MENTIONED YOU AND HE SAID YOURE PERFECT JEEZ”

Carlos’ eyes widened, ‘Obviously, this creator gets several hundreds of followers per day there is no way that he possibly could’ve gone and mentioned… me? I mean sure I said thanks for the like on my photo and all but I just-‘ 

Carlos’ peaceful yet troublesome thoughts were interrupted by a figure that was now slightly towering over him, arms crossed as he saw the students behind the figure had absconded. It seems that the class had acknowledged Carlos’ absent-mindedness and left without him noticing. 

“Carlos, have you listened to it yet?!” Maureen almost shouted, he wasn’t sure if she was mad or just very, very excited. 

“No I fell asleep before the live-stream and I never had the chance to listen to it after that.”

“Oh my actual fucking shit” Maureen exclaimed. Carlos slightly jumped back at her vulgar language, he had never had a student speak to him in any sort of way like that before,

“I don’t think you’re allowed to say that to your teachers Maureen”

“Shhh… you just got mentioned on a podcast by a deep-voiced dork and he, quote on quote, fell in love with you instantly. This is a joyous occasion and theres already a tag for it.” 

“Maureen, I think you’re overreacting after all its a fictional story line and-“

Without any sense of hesitation Maureen grabbed her laptop out of her bag and flipped open to a site called ‘Archive of our own’. Clicking in the relationship area, she typed in Carlos/Cecil Palmer. Suddenly a whole flock of results popped up, AU’s, head canons, anything anybody could of though of was here.

“The fandom has spoken, you little gay babies were meant for each other and you cannot deny it.”

Carlos was still shocked at the amount of results that had revealed themselves. Both glee and anxiousness filled him as the situation settled in. Without even trying he had somehow already formed a connection with somebody that he would’ve been so nervous to talk to that he probably would have stuffed it up. 

“Maureen,” Carlos spoke, “How do you do the whole ‘shipping’ thingy if you're in the ship?”

Maureen let out a laugh, Carlos saw know that he didn’t really need to ask that question at all.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe it.” Carlos whispered. He had just listened to the newest episode and was just about to finally check his Tumblr, but the fan-mail alert had caught his eye first. 

“Was it him? Can you read it out loud?” Maureen had calmed down a bit, but that was only after and hour of so of listening to Nightvale and cleaning the labs. Carlos’ was pretty sure that this was an unfair trade, she occasionally cleaned beakers and listened to podcasts and her grades immediately went up. He wasn’t complaining though, it was nice having help, but even better to have someone who could help him with all this internet lingo stuff.

“I don’t think I want to open it for myself, let alone read it to one of my students.” Despite that comment Carlos checked his fan-mail inbox anyway, after all there was no point in waiting for all his nerves building up for it to just be some anon, but when he opened up the folder it was something much different.

“Hey Carlos! Sorry if liking that photo was kinda creepy” Carlos read out loud, much to Maureen’s satisfaction. “It was just really neat that I found your blog and all. Also, can I just compliment on your whole face because it actually kinda perfect.” the letter ended, with a smile happy smiley face on the end. Carlos had no idea why but all of a sudden that happy feeling that had seemed to fade away over the past few years came back, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“What did I say? Small dorky gay babies that belong together.”

 


	5. Reblog wars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer! I do not own the characters mentioned in this fan fiction, they all belong to finknor!

 

 

“Dana I’m pretty sure this would be creepy” Cecil said as he scrolled through his dashboard, Skype window open in the background. 

“Cecil it has so far taken you 34 minutes to decide on wether to reblog a cat picture from him! I mean, seriously it never takes you this long to reblog anything, let alone a cat photo.” Despite knowing each other for a little over a year, Cecil and Dana had never really video called, the reason being that Cecil was scared about his mothers warnings, he always was. Did cameras have the same effect as mirrors? What happened if he looked down at his little box and saw something he didn’t want to see? He faintly remembered asking his sister how come he wasn’t allowed to look into mirrors, but she always shrugged her shoulders and said “Mother knows best!”. 

“Well, you know what, I’ll do it.”

“Finally!” Soon the build up to that small moment didn’t count anymore as he quickly pressed the reblog button, which way much more simple then he thought it would be.

“Now! Quickly just reblog anything from me!” 

“Although i’m not one who should question motives, may I ask why?” Dana let out a sigh,

“He might reblog it back, you silly goose”

“I am not a goose, I am a radio host!” Cecil quickly snapped in a humorous way before quickly finding Dana’s nearest post and re-blogging it. Dana laughed at his silly response for a few seconds before her side of the conversation started again,

“Hey Cecil,”

“Yes Dana?”

“Why don’t you ever talk about your school? I mean seriously, your stories so vague and mysterious!”

“Oh well uh,” Cecil began, he was sure that he could talk to Dana about it. After all, Dana had always been very trustworthy to him. “I uh, used to be homeschooled by my mother, but then she just,” Cecil made varying ‘poof’ noises to symbolise how she had justdisappeared “and so I just taught myself through books. I mean, thats what my sister did as well for a bit before she left, and my brother had disappeared with my mom when she originally vanished.” Dana made a satisfied hmph noise, signalling she was very happy with his answer, before the rest of the questions that Cecil had predicted would follow were asked,

“So what happened to your sister? Is she still with you now?”

“No, she actually left too, but it wasn’t mysterious at all. She said that she couldn’t stay here any longer and that mom wasn’t going to come back, I din’t believe her so I didn’t leave with her but we still keep contact through the computer and occasional visits. Actually she got married to Steve Carls-“

“Steeeve Carrrlssberrrgg” Dana hissed, the two both exploding into giggles at the long running fandom joke. Cecil disliking Steve was not a joke though, in-fact he disliked Steve so much you could call it hate and it would still not convey the amount of disgust he felt for that man. Cecil’s sister when she originally left had told him that she would visit him from time to time, that seemed to be one of the only things she had said that wasn’t criticising their mother or their mothers rules lately. Cecil had believed her, after all she stayed with him for almost all his life, there was no reason for him to not trust her when majority of what she did was fuelled by good causes. It was only after a few months of visiting in which the period between her coming and leaving slowed down. At first, she said it was because she was a busy woman with a job now, then it was the ‘I just keep forgetting’ excuse. It took so long for Cecil to get the proper answer out of her, that she was newly engaged to a man that Cecil had never met. When he originally heard this news Cecil couldn’t believe such a thing. He felt betrayed, the only person in his life that he still knew was alive had stopped visiting him just to spend time with another person who wasn’t even family, he’d be even more alone then what he had previously been. Even after a lot of calming down, Cecil would not accept this Steve as his brother-in-law, even though he couldn't do a single thing about it. Cecil to this day wished that he had been there at the ceremony to object, he wasn’t sure for what reason, but he would do anything to get his sister back.

“Yeah, that guy.”

“Makes sense, I wouldn’t exactly like if my sister ran off with some ‘Steve’ guy either!” Dana laughed, “but wait, so you’re on your own?” 

“Yes, pretty much at least. I mean I still have my small cat toy but he’s not much company,” Cecil felt guilty for saying that, he actually did consider his small cat toy as family. After all, his mother gave it to him when he was younger and frankly enough it was one of the only good gifts he had received in his lifetime. He kept it in the back bathroom stood up on a clear plastic box that made him look like he was floating. Occasionally if he was feeling very alone, he would just go and sit in the bathroom and stroke the cats soft dark black with deep purple highlights fake fur, it really helped for some reason. Dana let out a small giggle before Cecil’s notifications interrupted their small conversation.

“Cecil quick! Check it!” Dana squealed as Cecil quickly checked his notifications.

“Dana it seems that perfect Carlos did exactly what we expected!”

“Aha! Yes!”

“Actually he’s spamming, that’s good yeah?”

“Yes… very” Dana whispered, a slightly creepy tone in her voice, Cecil immediately knew what this meant,

“You want me to start a reblog war don’t you?”

“Well unless you’re willing to push aside your anxiety at message him,” This time, Cecil entered Carlos’ blog without hesitation and immediately began to reblog anything he could find that might remotely fit in with his blogs theme. He knew that he wold totally regret this later. Cecil heard the happy sounds of Dana’s laughter,

“Wow you’re really going at it, I think my dash is full already!” Eventually the two once again burst out into a fit of giggles and laughter, losing track of the time as they attempted to win the reblog war they had started.

 

“Look who finally gave in!” Cecil laughed as he read over the fan-mail from Carlos that he had just screenshot and sent to Dana.

“Well, i’ve had people who caved in easier.” Dana whispered, letting out a yawn, ”You know, I’m not sure how you do it,”

“Do what?”

“Stay up this late!” Dana laughed. Cecil wasn’t sure either, in fact he didn’t even know what time it was currently. He just set it to 12am whenever the blinking lights came on, which was probably highly inaccurate. Actually, when was the last time he slept?

“Yeah, I really should fix that up.”

“You should, one day i’ll try message you and suddenly you’ll be asleep for 5 years catching up on all the hours you missed!” Cecil let out a small laugh, he hoped not. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow jeez, you guys don't understand how much these kudos and kind comments really mean to me ;u; Thank you all so much for reading, even though this chapter was a little repetitive (Although it really was fun to write all the symbolism and just the chapter in general!)
> 
> So in conclusion, 1. Thanks! 2. Sorry! 3. suPER THANKS! :D


	6. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opening notes: Disclaimer! I do not own the characters mentioned in this fan fiction blah blah blah, you guys know the drill!
> 
> !WARNING!  
> Here are where the tags start to come in, so if you feel uncomfortable with any of the topics in the tags, I recommend skipping this chapter or stopping reading until you think you can handle these themes

 

Kevin’s hands traced over the small bump on the bottom of the J key, hands ready to type out whatever came to his mind. The thick red liquid that seemed to always cover his keyboard made it slightly hard to type, but he didn't mind He was always filled with creativity and wonderful ideas that he could put onto paper, even if they did drag on a bit. He smiled as he scrolled through the play-lists that his wonderful friends had made for him, he never seemed to be alone with them. Kevin couldn’t show how happy he was to be in such a wonderful world, so he had decided to use his creative ideas to make a wonderful podcast that could show others how much he appreciated them. Suddenly he noticed two small profiles in his recommended users' window that caught his attention

 

**_-VoiceoftheNight-_ **

**_-Carlos-the-sc1entist-_ **

 

He smiled, although the scars and marks that covered his face pained him to do so, he was sure that he had found more people that would be more than happy to join him with the smiling god.

 

* * *

 

 

Cecil wasn’t sure on how to respond to this new particular follower. The alert had frightened him enough, but it was really the blog that was even more terrifying. Ever since Cecil had seen the URL he couldn’t forget it. It was just the normal, basic layout blog with a bright yellow colour scheme. The image for the header was uncannily close to the one Cecil had, with the sun instead of a moon, big evolved buildings instead of the small desert town traced the bottom of the header. Cecil was sure he should just ignore it, perhaps it was an RP blog of some sort, or at least he hoped it was. He continued to scroll down, their blogs were almost identical, in some ways. There were photos of cats, the occasional fan-fiction, but it differed when it came to posts they tagged ‘aesthetic’. Cecil’s normally had things to do with the night, featuring hazy images of purple hue street lights, old radio stations and glowing stars that dotted the dark twilight sky. Kevin’s… Kevin’s was different. It seems every time Cecil came across one of these posts there was always an image that had something to do with blood, something to do with the gory parts of the world. Cecil’s eyes stared at the gif that his mouse had just landed on, he didn’t think a single soul could comprehend the horrible moving images of what seemed to be a dead animal carcass with thick, dark blood slowly trickling down its side. He scrolled as fast as he possibly could past the horrible gif, trying to avoid becoming nauseous from such a terrifying image. Taking deep, shaking breaths Cecil continued to scroll down the blog. It seemed so normal and happy, with positivity quotes about how to be productive and keep going. Cecil wished he could still think of it that way. 

After scrolling through some more posts, Cecil finally found a photo of the uncanny account. When his eyes first landed on the photo Cecil was sure that it couldn’t possibly be human, it had to be some sort of… monster. The photo would’ve looked perfectly normal if it wasn’t for the scars, the terrible scars that covered the poor beings face, that if they were as bad as they looked should’ve killed him. There was a bright red, clumpy liquid that seemed to have poured out of the scars that were sewn with stitches, Cecil could only hope it was theatrical blood. His smile in the photo, was it even a smile? It was so wide, so uncanny and unnatural. The longer Cecil stared the more apparent the scars became, the more scared he became. Cecil’s mind went completely blank, the figure seemed so familiar in the way it smiled, the eyes seemed so close to Cecil’s heart, even though he could not recognise the person… thing… in front of him. All that was left in his head was the thoughts of how uncanny the photo was and the sound of his heartbeat echoing through his body. Attempting to take deep breaths, Cecil closed the browser window and stood up from his desk, far too terrified by the remaining thoughts of his image to stay near the computer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first up i'm sorry this chapter was kinda short, I promise you i'll make up for it in future chapters :D  
> Secondly, you know that whole every-two-days-i'll post-a-chapter thing? Not anymore. I've accidentally gotten so wrapped up in this storyline that there will probably be one chapter a day, so I guess that's good?  
> Anyway, thank you once again for reading an surviving this chapter, have a wonderful rest of the day!


	7. Blog shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the disclaimers etc etc. I don't own these cute lil' cinnamon buns ;D

Carlos was always quite entertained by Cecil’s shenanigans on his blog. The two still hadn't gotten enough courage to talk to one another, but did that really matter? The second that Carlos got home from work, and sometimes during work, he’d try to hop onto Tumblr just to see if Cecil was on. If he wasn’t, Carlos wouldn’t know, after all he always seemed to be on. Even though Cecil had probably reblogged from Carlos many times, Carlos’ reaction was always the same; Scream internally, go to a private area, scream out loud, calm down, repeat next time he reblogs something from you. The reactions were even more severe on Cecil’s side. Whenever that now normal ‘1’ popped up in his inbox he couldn't help but turn into a pile of squealing mush, even if he always found the courage to reply somewhere. Cecil hadn't heard from the blog that ever so frightened him last time ever since he first discovered it, and he hope he wouldn’t have to see it again. He hadn’t told anyone about it yet, after all he was probably just matching up coincidences, or maybe just overreacting. To him, it barely mattered anymore. 

‘Cecil! Have you seen this?!” The fan mail read, with a following link to a video of a cat in a small sized lab coat, casually knocking over beakers of what was hoped to be a harmless substance. It was whenever Cecil got a message, even one containing the smallest thought like this one, that made him really smile. Not just a weak one, one that made him feel like he could probably use the happiness it contained to- well, to continue being happy for the rest of the days he spent in his house. As the messages went on they became frequent, but they never lost that special touch and feel that they originally had at the beginning when Cecil was too scared to like a singular photo, or to even say ‘hi’ without getting the jitters. Cecil’s creativity within his podcast had bloomed as Carlos introduced him to things he didn’t even know existed, like memes and mountains which he never had seemed to read in his book. Now instead of sitting idly at his computer, trying to push out as many ideas as he could so he could write, the ideas came to him whenever Carlos introduced him to something new. Carlos had even sent him advice when he wasn’t feeling too well and there was nobody else to help, he even acknowledged Khoshekh as part of Cecil’s family instead of some ‘childish toy’ or ‘memory that should’ve been left long ago’ like majority of people, even his sister, did. 

Sometimes Cecil would just take Khoshekh out of his normal spot and sit in front of the window that faced the blinking lights. 

“My dearest Khoshekh, how far from normal people are we do you think?” He’d ask the small cat, moving its head slightly to show what Cecil would expect the reaction to be, “I really hope we’re close, I want to see people, real people, someday. Not just photos.” He let out a sigh as a feeling of detachment sunk in, “Maybe one day I might be able to visit him. I’m so tired of just,” Cecil’s hands made a typing motion in front of him. “I want to be able to talk to him face-to-face”

“But Cecil!” He said, putting on a funny high-pitched cat-like voice for Khoshekh, “Your mother said you couldn’t leave! You’ll never be able to see him!” Cecil slightly frowned once again seeing the cage his own other had forced him into. No matter how hard he tried to comprehend it, he couldn’t see why his mother would do this. The more he thought the more he sounded like his sister in his head, doubting the ways of how he’d been brought up in the thought of what only might be a better life. For some reason, Cecil felt tears and he wished he had no idea why, but really he knew. It was because he hated it here, he desperately wanted to leave, he wanted to see Carlos. He quickly wiped the tears even though alone, just to prove to himself that he could stay in this house and be strong,

“I know Khoshekh, but…” Cecil whispered, his voice still shaky from wanting to cry “maybe, just maybe, one day I will”

 

* * *

 

“Well Carlos, aren’t you happy today?” One of the scientists superiors called out from the drinking fountain. It was true, ever since Carlos had found Nightvale, or rather Cecil, he’d been that little bit happier. It made all those days that he’d spent in the labs mean something, because now he knew the second he was done teaching that he actually had something to look forward to than the same experiments. He still came into work late on the first and fifteenth after staying up so late, but it's become so routine that the other professors no longer cared. 

“Yeah!” Carlos called back, slowing down his walk slightly. One of his other co-workers turned the corner to quickly interject conversation,

“Maybe little puppy Carlos finally got a girlfriend!” She laughed, the other professor joining in. 

“Perhaps!” The other co-worker laughed. Carlos suddenly realised he hadn’t told them that he preferred guys. He began to think of what he could say, he barely got the confidence to tell his own family so doing something like this on the spot was rather challenging. Suddenly the woman’s face went into a rather crooked smile,

“I was wrong wasn’t I? Boyfriend isn’t it?” Her voice and those words, suddenly Carlos looked up again after thinking. Carlos slightly smiled, trying not to look too happy.

“Yeah,”

“Second-time guess is a charm!” She extended her hand out to him, “Vanessa if you will” Carlos took her hand warmly before noticing what seemed to be a small pen drawing along her arm in a bright yellow. It looked an awful lot like the nightvale eye, but instead of the moon it had the sun with the slogan ‘Believe in a smiling God’ scrawled underneath it. 

“Who’s the lucky guy?”

“I… well it's not official yet but,”

“Oh I see…” she giggled, “Well I shall see you, probably not later but who knows?” She turned and casually walked off, her hair swaying with her movements. He wondered if she had noticed him staring down her drawings that were uncannily similar to Nightvale’s logo. Carlos turned to walk away before noticing his other co-worker who seemed to be shocked, almost disturbed at the past conversation. Suddenly Carlos released that not everyone was that accepting of his sexuality,

“Well… I uh, better get going too.” Carlos whispered as he quietly shuffled off to his class, hoping that his co-worker might forget or even accept what just happened.

Maureen wasn’t in Carlos’ class anymore, she had switched over to human resources, but that didn’t mean the she had stopped coming to see Carlos. Every second day she used to come by the labs and help Carlos clean after the students had left. They would talk about theories and Nightvale whilst watching that fortnights episode. She had stopped being a student to Carlos and had become what had been the closest thing Carlos had ever had to a friend, unless you count Cecil. Carlos wasn’t sure of what this feeling was or if you could even call Cecil and Carlos ‘friends’ by the way they acted to each other, but he had heard a term like it on Tumblr before, he was sure it was something like ‘mutuals’.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh jeez i'm really running out of chapter names ;u;
> 
> Also, thank you guys for reading and leaving comments etc. It really helps when I get to see them and know that all this time locked up in my room drinking several pots of tea a day is not going to complete waste :D


	8. Skype?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These smol cinnamon buns aren't mine!
> 
> Okay, I already hear you asking why I haven't posted for 2 days, and iM SORRY ITS BECAUSE I WAS ON A PLANE BUt what i'm trying to say here is i'm sorry D:

Cecil’s heart began pounding as the faint glow of his computer screen highlighted his face, he stared at his open Skype window as he waited for the contact request he had sent with anxious nerves to be accepted. It was during one of Carlos and Cecil’s conversations when Cecil had finally swallowed his doubts and asked Carlos for his Skype, and happily he said yes. Now it was just time for Cecil to wait for Carlos to accept the request. He excitedly spun around on his chair in front of the computer as he waited for a message of any sort to pop up anxiously, still in disbelief that he had finally gained the courage to ask. He couldn’t believe that only after a few short weeks they had managed to somehow form a… he guessed that he still had to call it friendship for now, but he was hopeful that he and Carlos both shared as strong of feelings for each other. Suddenly the alert ping of the Skype window snapped Cecil out of his day dream

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** HEY

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** Woah sorry that was a little bit too happy

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** but what can I say I'm happy for some reason today :]

**VoiceoftheNight:** what no hi hello that's not too happy

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** oH JEEZ 

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** I understand this probably sound really dorky and that we’ve talked before but I mean wow I love you 

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** I mean liKE YOUR WORKS

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** Creative wise

**VoiceoftheNight:** Thank you very much, I appreciate it!

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** Also I heard you like cats am I correct?

**VoiceoftheNight:** I can’t say you’re wrong 

Soon enough Carlos had sent a small image of what seemed to be several small cats hiding in a forest green bush

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** They were outside my work but due to my allergies I couldn’t touch them, I’m not even sure what to do with them they're little balls of death and adorableness

**VoiceoftheNight:** LooK AT THEM THEY'RE JUST THE CUTESSTT

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** Aren’t they? 

**Carlos-the-sc1entist:** Skype?

Suddenly the incoming call screen flashed up, catching Cecil by surprise. Slightly hesitating for a moment, he accepted the call nervously,

“Look at them Cecil!” A happy voice cheered from the other side of the call, it was smooth yet so cheerful. The phone camera quickly switched around to its owners face as he slightly sniffled probably due to his allergies. Cecil’s eyes widened in shock, he was even more perfect than what he had previously expected. Cecil felt his heart literally beat fast, and he felt the same feeling that he originally did when he first saw Carlos. “So, you know about cats, what do you think I should do?” Carlos questioned, giving a slightly dorky smile to the camera.

“I uh…” Cecil began, his voice slightly shaky unlike normal, “Well, if they don’t have collars then place a wall between you and them and try to pat them, if they don't attack then maybe they were abandoned” Carlos bent down and took off his lab coat, building a barrier between the kittens and himself. 

“Okay, here we go…” Carlos whispered his voice slightly straining as he placed his phone on the ground, 

“Hey, be careful there, they might hurt yo-“ Carlos emerged back into the frame holding 3 of the small kittens in his arms, slightly petting on of their heads whilst sniffling to avoid sneezing.

“I think they’re okay, none of them seems to be terribly hurt. We have some professors who do all this animal stuff, so I’ll go see if they have anything to say about them.” Carlos turned to the camera as he showed Cecil the kittens which were wrapped in his lab coat. Cecil was pretty sure he was about to explode out of the amount of cuteness in one frame. Discreetly, he pressed command 3 to quickly screenshot the moment, for research reason obviously. “Well, I’ll call you back later. I’ve got to go take care of these tiny, allergy-filled balls of fur!” and with a small smile, Carlos leant over to the phone and pressed the end call button.

 

* * *

 

“Did you seriously?!”

“Yeah, right in front of my co-workers too like I mean, It’s bad enough being late to work tripping over because I can’t tie my laces but I mean jeez at least let me keep my pride.” Ever since their first call the jitters hadn’t left, if anything they had become stronger, but now they just seemed more normal to Cecil,

“Yeah well guess what I did today?”

“Nothing”

“Marvellous guess and you're absolutely correct,” Cecil said in a grand voice as he watched Carlos yawn tiredly. 

“Has anybody ever told yo-“

“That I need sleep? Countless times, I really don’t see the point of it.” Carlos let out a small giggle as he pushed the long curls of hair out of his face. It always seemed that Carlos had his video on during calls, it made Cecil feel slightly guilty that he didn’t

“Where are you anyway? Well, I know you’re in America but…”

“Don’t ask me, it’s a mystery even to myself.”

“Well, keep on talking for a bit, I’m going to try something.” Carlos began to type quickly on his keyboard. 

“I finally took the courage to go into my mother's old room yesterday! None of the mirrors in her room were smashed though, in fact it was almost like they were laying out there on purpose, but I saw her journal and though I know it's rude to look at people’s personal stuff I just had to grab it, something about that book just made me so interested in it. I have no idea why! So, I went in head first, shut my eyes and prayed that I’d eventually reach the book, happily I did.”

“I guess curiosity didn’t kill the cat this time! What was in it?” Carlos asked, looking up from his keyboard to show that he was paying attention. 

“I… hasn't opened it” Cecil whispered, slightly nervous as he did. Suddenly Carlos tilted his head slightly and began staring confusedly at something on his screen.

“Wow, your IP address says nothing… I have no idea how…” Cecil perked up slightly,

“W-why were you looking for that?” Cecil questioned. He wasn’t exactly sure what and IP address was, but he hoped it wasn’t something bad.

“Because,” Carlos began, “Then I’d know where you are” There was a slight pause between them both for a moments time, “Not in a creepy way! I-I just… sometimes I wonder for stupid reasons.” Carlos giggled nervously, embarrassed that he decided to say something at all. Those ‘stupid reasons’ were that Carlos so deeply longed to see Cecil, to see the one person that he truly and deeply cared about in this moment of time and for the past months. Even though he was sure that the feelings wouldn’t be the same on Cecil’s part, he could say it truthfully on his. Accidentally letting out another yawn, Carlos’ eyes began to droop.

“Carlos, unlike me for some odd reason you need to sleep.” Cecil whispered, a tone of concern in his voice. 

“Yeah well it looks like I have to download more of your voice to help don’t I?” 

“Wait, you listen to my voice when you sleep?”

“Well I mean uh,” Carlos began, “It helps, it’s just so soothing.” He giggled slightly, and without any more words needed Cecil coughed slightly and began to whisper in his calmest voice;

“Well, then I shall do it live!” He laughed. aIn appreciation, Carlos perked up and quickly grabbed the biggest pillow that was in arms reach and rested his head down on it prepared for the story and calming voice that was ahead,

“I accept that offer, you may begin my Ceec.” He chuckled. Cecil’s cheeks felt like they were bursting with heat as he repeated what Carlos had said, his head growing more clouded as he looked at Carlos, his hair all messy and rugged on the soft pillow which covered half his face. His warm smile, his perfect teeth, the cute nickname that he had just called him, Cecil was sure if this went on for any longer he would personally have to launch himself into the screen to hug him.

“I-uh..” Cecil stuttered slightly, still flustered from the previous moment “The sky is dark as the lights no one understands passover this town, the moon whispers its wishes to us as if a conveyer from the one we love whom we could never meet, welcome… to Nightvale”

 

 


	9. Never alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer disclaimer... let's just skip this one for once!
> 
> Now, special thanks to the song; Reverie - Never More (Reincarnation) Persona 4, which was listened to on repeat for who knows how many times during this song. Also, if read at the correc timing, the piece and the song match up to the events so if you want, have a try at reading and listening at the same time!
> 
> (I hope you enjoy my most favourite chapter ever to write!)

Carlos had never been good at questions, he was always told that on his first day at school he asked too many and that during high school he answered too little.

 The first question of importance that he had ever asked was one to his own mother,

“What? Carlos of course I love you!”

“No that’s not what I meant,”

“Then what did you mean sweetie?” He remembered her asking back,

“Would anybody else love me?”

“Oh, my Carlos of course they would! Look at you, all the girls must be flocking to you, now knock that little frown off your face!” Carlos sighed, of course being only 15 meant that you had to be what your parents made you be, so little straight goody-two-shoes Carlosis what he had to be. He just accepted it at that, that maybe someday, he might be loved by a person he could love back.

The second big question was the same as the last one, but it wasn’t said by him,

“How could anybody love you?” The girls voice echoed in his head, he remembered the harsh pull of her hand along his customary school shirts collar as her words pierced harder then the nail that was digging into his skin. It all started from him bragging about the most wonderful dream he had, he could recall it to this day. He remembered waking a busy area, he had no idea where but there were people on phones who rushed passed him in black suits holding leather suitcases in their hands. Such a fast paced world yet it was so horribly mundane. Carlos remembered a voice, one that told him things he didn’t understand but all he knew was that he ran and ran through the crowds to a destination of who knows where. He felt time speeding up around him as he ran, the one person in the crowd that was following something for a reason that they didn’t know. It felt like he was moving so fast in what already was such a busy world, but he was moving in the apparent wrong direction. His heart began to beat as his shoes heavily hit the cobblestone ground, knocking into various workers as he did, not turning to apologise out of fear that he might lose concentration on the voice. He remembered finally stopping when there was nothing but the deep black night sky dotted with stars, beautiful and shining above him, the bright lights softly glowing. The moon, it was shining so brightly down on the empty desert area, as if it was shining just for him. His world began to slow down with his heart rate and he began to pant. Carlos turned his head up to the moon, and with all the breath that he could muster he began to yell, he began to ask so many questions in one setting.

“Why!?” Carlos yelled up to the sky for reasons that were behind his comprehension, 

“ **Why** did I run against all those people? **Why** did you call me… just **why…**?

It was then that the moon's light suddenly began to feel warm and welcoming, almost like the suns. For some reason he suddenly felt the light touch his skin and wrap around his body, it was impossible for light to give such a sensation as if it were a person… wasn’t it?Carlos couldn’t bare to move, in this situation he just felt so… loved, so wanted. Slowly the surrounding around him began to merge back into the crowds of people heading busily to unknown areas, and the moons light and warmth suddenly disappeared.

The next day at school Carlos had told everyone about his dream, and how the moon had a light that was warmer then the suns, that it had felt like it embraced him and that said it loved him. That was when she came forwards, Carlos had forgotten her name, but he had not forgotten what she told him, 

“How could anybody love you? You’re pathetic, grow up! The moon talking and saying it loves you? Complete bullshit Carlos, get a life!” 

The third big question was the one that he always wished he had asked during that dream. Carlos would always wish for that dream to come back, so he could live it all over again, so he could run through those crowds of people into the middle of nowhere. So he could feel the light and warmth of the moons touch grace his skin again, so he could ask the moon the once question he regretted never asking… did it love him? Now after so many years he could again. It had been so long that he had wished to relive that dream again, and now that dream was no longer just barely visible light beams.

 He hadn’t realised before but now he could see so clearly that he could relive that dream again, that he had found the voice that had haunted his mind once more, that the dream was no longer just a faint memory re-playing through his head again and again. The voice that called him to run against the mundane crowd even though it would be tough just so then he could feel its warm and loving touch. The voice that had lulled him to sleep, the voice that made him feel so protected and loved… Carlos had found his moon, he had found Cecil.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for the ending,
> 
> I am very happy to finally publish this chapter, it had to be one of my favourites I've ever written. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Also, thank you so, so much for reading. All those kudos and comments and even just read counts really help me to see that maybe someone's actually been reading the weird ass stuff I write. I'm also very sorry that the whole timetable of when to post went of out whack, I've been travelling and stuff, but it'll be back to 3-4 times a week posting soon!


	10. Cameras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer of this is not mine laladedada you get it by now yes? :D

“Cecil, it means nothing. Relax” The faceless old woman’s voice muttered calmingly, “You’re overreacting, if it triggers you, or something like that, then don’t go on the blog.”

“Fow, it doesn’t work like that. This is Cecil’s work if he wants people not to copy it then he has to do something about it. It’s his ideas and he needs to protect them.” Dana snapped back. It seemed whenever the two were in a call, they’d always bicker. All Cecil did was sit, crouched in a ball upon his seat. He had just experienced the worst, well anything that he had ever experienced,

“Cecil,” The computer speakers were slightly louder than normal as Cecil tried to snap himself back to normal, “did you really sleep for the first time, are you sure that you didn’t just imagine it?”

“I’m-“ Cecil stuttered, still trying to forget the horrid images he had seen in what he hoped was only a dream, “I’m sure, my eyes feel tired for some reason, they never are. It's weird, uncomfortable, yet so normal.”

“Cecil I understand that you, well actually that's a lie. I’m calling bullshi-“

“Don’t.” Dana snapped, her voice had a slight tone of anger in it, “Cecil don’t listen to her, dream or not it doesn’t matter, somebody is taking your concepts and duplicating them in the weirdest ways.”

“Oh, you listened to one?” The faceless old woman whispered back spitefully,

“Yes, and I can say that whoever that ‘Kevin’ person is, is totally copying Cecil's work.”

Only a few comments after Cecil had zoned out of what both the other callers were saying, it only sounded like arguments anyway. Cecil had never listened to one of the episodes of that podcast, to be honest, he was too scared to. He had no reason to be, or at least not before the dream,

“You see” Cecil began, interrupting the twos dispute. He needed to clear out what happened in the dream, “It started off with blankness, I can’t quite describe the sensation. A place filled with nothing, neither light or dark, neither black or white, it was a void yet at the same time it was not. Suddenly the black abyss of which I had been placed into changed into something that one could only describe as more frightening, more exciting. There were crowds of people, none of which acknowledged me, but then I saw Carlos. He was standing there, perfect as ever, and I called out to him and he responded. He actually responded. He began to run towards my voice and I couldn’t help but to tell him all the things I’ve wanted to say to him I told him to follow me and that I loved him, and he followed. My perfect Carlos ran against all those crowds just because he knew… believed… trusted… my voice. I didn’t know why but I pulled him away from the crowds, I just wanted him and I to be alone, so maybe I could tell him more, so I could just, maybe even, just… touch him. He began to ask questions that I didn’t know how to answer, how could I tell him if I didn’t even know my own motives? I felt like I had to do something, but for some reason I couldn’t reach down and touch him, There was something separating us but, for some reason even though I couldn’t be close to him I still felt like somehow, I was able to connect with him. I felt his presence and he felt mine. I just…” Cecil’s voice stiffened as both Dana and The faceless old woman stayed silent until what could only be a small sniffle came from Cecil’s side of the conversation,

“Cecil, please don’t cry” The faceless old woman’s voice whispered, softer than from before, “It’ll be okay, the dream wasn’t real. What happened after?”

“I-it” Cecil began, taking a deep breath so his voice could return to its normal low-toned pitch, “Something else caught his attention and then he was gone, but that something, it was whoever that Kevin person he was… he was covered in scars and blood but no longer did they scare me,for he told me that we were the same person, duplicates of each other and that if there was a monster between the two of us that it was-“

“That it was you,” Dana’s voice chimed, saddened by what she had just been told. “Cecil I re-assure you that you are not him. That would be impossible, plus, you’re not a monster. You might be considered weird when people first listen to you but, you are nowhere near close to being a monster.”

“Go look in a mirror and you’ll see, you’re nothing like him!” The faceless old woman whispered, Cecil almost heard slight happiness in her voice.

“He can’t, you know that Fow,” Dana immediately spoke back, 

“Oh my actual hell, you believe that? Come on, everyone has to have seen themselves in a mirror! Cecil this isn’t your fictional world anymore if you feel personally threatened then you have to-“

“It's not fictional, his mother said not to and he wants to stay by her rules!”

“Oh come on Dana! It’s obvious he’s lying, he just wants to keep the story ‘real’! Like seriously, if he was going for realism he wouldn’t have chosen you for ‘mayor’ of that town either! He’s told you about what happened right, his mother and family left him, and for what reason?”

“I don’t know why they left Fow, but I recommend you don’t bring his personal life into this!”

The two voice began muddles as Dana protested against The faceless old woman, Cecil could only hope that she was correct in what she was fighting for. After all, he didn’t even know himself anymore. Cecil turned to his mother's room, there were mirrors in there… he could always-

“You don’t even know what he looks like Dana! For heavens sake he could just as well be a ‘monster’!” Suddenly the conversation went quiet, Dana couldn’t defend against that point, she'd never really seen Cecil before.

“Cecil,” Dana began, her voice soft once more, “Please turn on your camera, it's not a mirror and we… I won’t promise to screenshot anything at all, swear on my mayoral badge.” Cecil’s eyes widened, he couldn’t possibly do that he would see himself it would technically be a mirror, he couldn’t disobey his mother's rules no matter the cost or situation. 

“You can always cover up the bottom where you can view yourself.”

* * *

 

With the piece of paper firmly secured to the bottom left of his skype window,Cecil took a deep breath in as his mouse hovered over the small blue camera button,

“I will keep my promise as said before, and I hope Fow will too…” Dana whispered,

“I will, and for heavens’ sake stop calling me ‘Fowe’ or whatever, it’s The-faceless-old-woman” She snapped,

“Jeez, okay.” Dana softly whispered back, “It’s a go Cecil, do it.”

Cecil’s heart began to pound as his hand shakily pressed down on his mouse, turning on his camera for the first time,

“Oh Cecil…” Dana whispered, Cecil was unsure of if her response was bad or good. With no response from The faceless old woman Cecil began to worry, 

“Is it that bad? Am I just as much of a monster as him?” He whispered, scared of the response,

“No you’re just like him, but…” Cecil felt despair creep up on him, he had known that if he were to dream it wouldn’t be meaningless, “But you’re not… you’re not a monster, if you keep your camera on i’ll show you why” 

“I don’t believe you, I truly don’t and i’m sorry for saying that Dana I-“ Suddenly a third icon popped up with an all-too familiar face.

 

* * *

 

Cecil was shocked as the caller picked up as per normal, video camera and all is perfectness

“Dana hi! I was just about to call Cecil, we could have a big group conversation if you like!”

“One step ahead of you, say hi Cecil!”

“Hello perfect Carlos,” Cecil whispered, voice shaky as Carlos turned to look at his screen

“Oh hi Ceci-“ Carlos stopped mid-sentence, his eyes widening in astonishment as he leaned in a little bit closer to the screen, “Cecil… is that you?” he questioned, speaking softly, 

“I know it’s that bad, I know i’m probably a monster and thats why my mother said to never look in mirrors and i’m sorry you have to see me like this,” Cecil said, his voice, much more rushed then normal.

“Cecil what are you talking about?” Carlos brightly chimed back, his full attention on Cecil, “You’re absolutely beautiful, and your eyes… are you wearing contacts?”

“No, I would be too scared to put them in anyway” Cecil laughed nervously,

“Did you know they’re a light purple? And presumably naturally?! That’s amazing Cecil, where in hell did you get that you’re a monster from?”

“From, and I know it sounds weird but, from a dream,” Cecil whispered,

“Sorry if this is getting intrusive but, did it happen to include myself?”

“Yes it was you running through-“ Cecil was cut off by Carlos’ gleaming smile and smiling eyes, he had suddenly become so happy at the mention such a dream, even with barely any details, as if confirmation for something bigger,

“You don’t need to explain the dream! I know every detail of it all too well,  I’ve experienced it all too many times”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW THIS CHAPTER WAS LAAATTEE
> 
> Lets just call it a small haitus...
> 
> Well, i'll be going back to at least 1-2 updates per week! I hope you all still enjoy this shitty writing thingy I do, thanks!


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